Smile :)
I feel a bit better about photography lately. More inspired. More keen to take a lot of time to set up and capture the perfect shot. Even though I deleted most of the ones I did today and my ‘great idea’ didn’t work. But still! I can try again another time.
I need to upload everyday again.
On a different note…
I was tidying my room today and came accross my box of junk where I keep stuff which has sentimental value and I don’t wanna throw away etc. Letters, train tickets, photos, even like tags off Christmas presents from my grandparents when I was a little girl. A lot of it really is crap, like the packs of tissues we had in China which I didn’t use, cos the packaging was too pretty to open and throw away.
I found all the letters from Year 11 that Lucy and I used to write to each other. They are HILARIOUS. And it got me thinking, Year 11 and GCSEs and high school in general seem so long ago now. Even college is really distant, even though less than 6 months ago I hadn’t even taken my A-level exams.
I don’t know what’s changed, but it’s not important. Reading those letters made me realise: they don’t really matter anymore, nothing’s going to change if I read an old letter Lucy wrote to me during a Physics lesson 3 years ago over and over and over again. I will keep it, I love stashing away sentimental stuff and rereading it years later. But my point is, to not to dwell.
When I started 6th Form I could only think of my last year at high school and how overall shit it was. The day I started Greenhead I should have made a promise there and then to leave it all behind and start again. I found it really hard to, but I managed. I loved every second of 6th form, even the first bits, when it was scary and unsettling. Everyone already knew everyone and I knew nobody. In a year of 900 students I knew not one of them. When I left I still didn’t know half of them, but it’s quality not quantity innit.
Now I’m enjoying the happiest days of my life. It’s good to focus on the present and, bit by bit, the future. I think life is only as good as you make it. I love feeling like this, I feel excited for no real reason, I feel happy about the littlest things. Everything makes me smile. I feel good about myself but not in an egotistical way. I just feel so happy… about everything.
Why do I ramble so much?